On Discovering Myself Full Essay

On Discovering Myself Full Essay-54
We believe we seek happiness in love, but it’s not quite that simple.

It was as children that we first came to know and understand what love meant.An urgent, primary task of any lover is therefore to get a handle on the specific ways in which they are mad.They have to get up to speed on their individual neuroses.But unfortunately, the lessons we picked up may not have been straightforward.The love we knew as children may have come entwined with other, less pleasant dynamics: being controlled, feeling humiliated, being abandoned, never communicating, in short: suffering. Why is it hard for us to know ourselves in these ways? There are several huge cognitive frailties that make it hard for us to have certain kinds of insight about ourselves.The default balance between conscious and unconscious tends to be wrong, we are incentivised to let too much of who we are happen in the unconscious.As a general point, we need to make heroic efforts to correct the imbalance and bring more of our lives into the conscious realm.Prior to marriage, we’re rarely involved in dynamics that properly hold up a mirror to our disturbances.Whenever more casual relationships threaten to reveal the ‘difficult’ side of our natures, we tend to blame the partner – and call it a day.Two: The Emotional and the Rational Mind A traditional way of conceiving of our minds is that there’s a small rational bit and a far larger, more dominant emotional bit.Plato compared the rational bit to a group of wild horses dragging the conscious mind along.


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